Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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