I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
