I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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