i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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