He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
