I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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