How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
