Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize