I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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