just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I smell like Dick and happiness
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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