in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize