i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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