dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
