I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
