Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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