chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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