she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize