Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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