I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
