Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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