this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
