Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This is the high leading the old right now
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
