): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
