I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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