dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
