I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
