quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
