escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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