dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
