our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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