so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
