Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
