ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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