How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I love having hate sex.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
