he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize