More tranny stories later!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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