Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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