i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
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