the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
