Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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