I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
