i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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