Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
