I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
