Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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