Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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