so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
