people are starting to question the shark bite story
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
