Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
