Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize