But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
