Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
