I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize