in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I deserve this hangover.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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