Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
