shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
