fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Randomize
