omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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