physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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