11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Will you blow on my dice?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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