Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
