Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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