I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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