Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
