I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize