this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
