She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
