a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
