Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
