I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
