Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
