I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
