Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just made out with a guy for $7.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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