i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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