oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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